My Mother

Her soul shines, and
Her spirit sings.
Her faith, it enraptures me.
Magnificent she is.
Such a glorious being.
A woman.
My mother.
~Nicole Francis

Greetings to All !!!!

PRAISES BE TO GOD OUR GLORIOUS ALMIGHTY FATHER!!!

I had my CT scans done last Monday......hurry up and wait....talk about learning to be patient. This is how God teaches us patience. Get a scan done and then wait a week for the results after having serious pain and serious reaction from the dye. Well I survived the week...barely... and went to see the oncologist this past Monday. Good news.....cancer is stable...not growing, not shrinking. PRAISE GOD!! Bad news....still don't know what's causing the incision site pain. Doc thinks it may be scar tissue. Soooooo now I get to have an Octreotide Scan done .....to the tune of $19,000.00+ Yikes !!! She is trying to get me in before the end of the year since I have already met my deductibles for this year. PLEASE PRAY REAL HARD FOR HER TO ACCOMPLISH THIS !!!!

Pain is about the same......tolerable most of the time. Working helps keep my mind busy. It really helps that I LOVE my job and the people I work with both directly and indirectly.

Keeping an eye....or two....out for God's Little winks.
Brenda

Update - Brenda 10/21/09

Struggles...trials...challenges. This is what brings me closer to God. Sometimes I think He gives me too many. But then I know that He knows what is best for me. He knows how to get me closer to Him. The challenges, trials and struggles He puts in my life help to make me stronger in many ways. He will heal me if He chooses to do so. If not, then He has His reasons. It is not for me to question.

I have been doing very well with this Beast within me (Carcinoid Cancer). I have not had symptoms (like most people have with this Beast) and not much pain or discomfort with all that I have been through. I Praise my Father everyday for that. Well I guess God needed me to come close to Him so He has given me some new challenges. For about the past month I have been dealing with severe pain in the left scar area from my surgery last year. This pain has caused me to stop exercising...that in itself is a big let down because I was really feeling good both physically and mentally. I talked to the surgeon and he thinks it is just pulled muscles. The pain is not subsiding much. When I called my Oncologist she ordered CT scans of my chest, Abdomen and pelvic area.

I had the scans done this past Monday. I should have know things weren't going to go well when the nurse was unable to get my port accessed and working. The flush solution would not go through. They had to put the IV line in my arm. Thank God the nurse got it on the first try. Well, everything was going well until they injected the contrast into my vein. As you all know I have had quite a few MRI, Scans (all kinds), chemo, meds, etc. and have never had any kind of reaction. Well this time I did. I had a panic attack, blood pressure rose, broke out in hives, got itchy all over and my pain got worse. They had to give me Benedryl which meant I could not drive home. Most of you know what happens when I drive home sleepy. As God would have it Zak had gotten a ride to his girlfriend's house after school. She lives about 2 miles from Good Sam North so he got a ride to the doctor's office and drove me home. I call this a God wink. He already knew what
was going to happen and already had a plan in place. I now have to have Benedryl before each CT Scan. Not a big deal...I can handle that. Will just need a driver each time. One of the nurses from the Chemo treatment room reaccessed my port and it worked....God wink again.

But that's not the end of the story. As I said before, I have never had any kind of symptoms with this cancer. Praise God. Well last night after work I had to take Zak to Wayne Hospital ER.....Silly boy smashed his finger at school on the table saw...Praise God he didn't cut any fingers off ....another God wink. I was sitting there reading my "God Questions" book and decided I needed to go to the bathroom. When I got to the bathroom I looked in the mirror and my face was beet red.....flushing has started. This is one of the symptoms of this cancer. By the time we left the hospital my face actually hurt. It felt and looked like I had been out in the sun all day. Some of the redness has subsided today and the pain is gone, but it just causes me to wonder if the cancer is getting worse.

I have an appointment with the Oncologist on Monday 10/26 at 4:15 to get the results of the CT Scans. I'm not too scared because I know God is always with me to guide me, hold me, strengthen me and love me. he is my strength and my salvation.

In God's Loving Arms Forever & For Always !!
Brenda

Brenda - Update 10/12/09

I was doing really Great...working out on the ab-lounge everyday, walking and riding (my) bicycle around town. Then God decided I needed another challenge in my life. About 4 weeks ago I got a really sharp, tearing like pain on the left side of my incision (from when they did the major surgery a year ago) when I tried to do a crunch on the ab-lounge. I was fine the day before when I did my reps on it. I have been hurting ever since. Saw the surgeon on 9/30, he ruled out a hernia...Praise the Lord for that !!!. He felt it was just a pulled muscle and told me to use Bengay, take Aleeve and get a stomach band. Hasn't helped yet. In fact, the band made the pain worse. I do not feel like it is a pulled muscle...that kind of pain does not last this long. I'm not scheduled to see to oncologist until Nov 7. I called the Oncologist office on Friday and told the medical assistant what was going on. Talked to the medical assistant again today and they are going to set me up for some more CT Scans of my chest and abdomin and then see the oncologist possibly sooner....depends on what the CT Scans show. I'm kinda of scared but I know God is still in control.

Update 8/6/09

Greetings Everyone !!

God is Awesome !!!! I went to the oncologist yesterday and she said the tumors are stable (some still shrinking). I will have another CT Scan in 3 months then see her to get the results. In the mean time alll I have to do is get monthly Sandostatin shots. The Sandostatin will help the remaining tumors to continue to shrink. I've been feeling really good lately. I've been working out on my ab lounge everyday and riding my bike 4 - 5 times a week. I feel my energy level increasing. Still working 40+ hours a week and loving it. The oncologist also said that if my hot flashes are a result of the cancer the Sandostatin will get rid of them. If not then it's menapause. I'm sure it's the cancer because I don't have the moodiness that supposedly comes with menapause. Unless you call a always being in a good mood moodiness.... say what? Any way......I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm doing GREAT ! Looking forward to going to Cross Country meets this fall.

Take Care & God Bless You All !!!

Brenda

Ladies' Day Out

We enjoyed another Ladies' Day out last month. The weather was unseasonably cool, but absolutely beautiful! We had lunch at Marion's Piazza and went for a nice walk at Wegerzyn Gardens during the park's annual Salsa Celebration. There was great music, food and dancing, and as always beautiful gardens to adore. It was a great day! Thanks ladies!

Brenda Email Update 7/4/09

Hi Everyone ! I finally feel well enough to be on the computer. I was on earlier trying to check my 365+ e-mails, but the computer was going soooooooo slow I started getting sleepy. That is, when I wasn't spinning around on the office chair making my self dizzy while waiting for the computer to decide to do what I was telling it to do. I finally gave up and went and watched a movie. Now I'm baaaaaack ! The chemo embolization went well. The doc decided to keep me over night. Room was ready at 3 pm. I didn't get to it until after 9. Rik was really tired and, to say the least, bored by this time. At least he didn't run both cell phone batteries down like he did in March while waiting. I felt pretty good on Saturday and did 5 loads of laundry. Sunday the tiredness and achiness finally set in. I ran out of my laxitive medicine and Protonix on Monday and wasn't able to get them refilled until Thursday. By last night my stomache was a real mess. Needless to say I was up all night. I feel pretty goood right now. Even thinking of going on a bike ride. I plan on returning to work on Monday. Starting to get bored sitting in my recliner. I think I have watched all of the CSI, CSI:NY, CSI:Miami & NCIS series. Movies are all starting to repeat also. I did do a lot of crocheting though. Just need to sell some of the stuff I've made. Rik had to go buy 2 more storage tubs. I was really starting to feel good before the embolization, and I was feeling a little discouraged this week because of this set back. But I know God is still with me and He will help me make it over this small hurdle also. He is my Savior, Protector, Guide and Father. In Him I place all my trust. Thanks to all for the continued prayers. Love to all, Brenda