Struggles...trials...challenges. This is what brings me closer to God. Sometimes I think He gives me too many. But then I know that He knows what is best for me. He knows how to get me closer to Him. The challenges, trials and struggles He puts in my life help to make me stronger in many ways. He will heal me if He chooses to do so. If not, then He has His reasons. It is not for me to question.
I have been doing very well with this Beast within me (Carcinoid Cancer). I have not had symptoms (like most people have with this Beast) and not much pain or discomfort with all that I have been through. I Praise my Father everyday for that. Well I guess God needed me to come close to Him so He has given me some new challenges. For about the past month I have been dealing with severe pain in the left scar area from my surgery last year. This pain has caused me to stop exercising...that in itself is a big let down because I was really feeling good both physically and mentally. I talked to the surgeon and he thinks it is just pulled muscles. The pain is not subsiding much. When I called my Oncologist she ordered CT scans of my chest, Abdomen and pelvic area.
I had the scans done this past Monday. I should have know things weren't going to go well when the nurse was unable to get my port accessed and working. The flush solution would not go through. They had to put the IV line in my arm. Thank God the nurse got it on the first try. Well, everything was going well until they injected the contrast into my vein. As you all know I have had quite a few MRI, Scans (all kinds), chemo, meds, etc. and have never had any kind of reaction. Well this time I did. I had a panic attack, blood pressure rose, broke out in hives, got itchy all over and my pain got worse. They had to give me Benedryl which meant I could not drive home. Most of you know what happens when I drive home sleepy. As God would have it Zak had gotten a ride to his girlfriend's house after school. She lives about 2 miles from Good Sam North so he got a ride to the doctor's office and drove me home. I call this a God wink. He already knew what
was going to happen and already had a plan in place. I now have to have Benedryl before each CT Scan. Not a big deal...I can handle that. Will just need a driver each time. One of the nurses from the Chemo treatment room reaccessed my port and it worked....God wink again.
But that's not the end of the story. As I said before, I have never had any kind of symptoms with this cancer. Praise God. Well last night after work I had to take Zak to Wayne Hospital ER.....Silly boy smashed his finger at school on the table saw...Praise God he didn't cut any fingers off ....another God wink. I was sitting there reading my "God Questions" book and decided I needed to go to the bathroom. When I got to the bathroom I looked in the mirror and my face was beet red.....flushing has started. This is one of the symptoms of this cancer. By the time we left the hospital my face actually hurt. It felt and looked like I had been out in the sun all day. Some of the redness has subsided today and the pain is gone, but it just causes me to wonder if the cancer is getting worse.
I have an appointment with the Oncologist on Monday 10/26 at 4:15 to get the results of the CT Scans. I'm not too scared because I know God is always with me to guide me, hold me, strengthen me and love me. he is my strength and my salvation.
In God's Loving Arms Forever & For Always !!
Brenda
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